Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
