Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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