I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
