The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
