god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Randomize
