I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
