he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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