if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
