Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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