Kareoke will never be a sober sport
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
