Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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