People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
