Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
