I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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