In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
