My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Randomize
