I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
