Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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