Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
