1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We left the knife in your bed.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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