the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I wish there were birth control emojis
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
