I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
