I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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