When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
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