Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
