dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
