also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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