thus making me awesome and them whores
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
