Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
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