Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
