What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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