yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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