I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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