I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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