Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
