Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
whose parrot is this?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
