So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
