This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
