The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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