bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Everything about him screamed your future.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
