yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize