she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
