Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
