last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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