I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
