Please, let me fuck your mom
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
