I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
how drunk are you?
Several
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
