it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
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