Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize