Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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