So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
