Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
