She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
