Non-Jews are for practice
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize