he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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