I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
