Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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