what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
