I can tuck mytits in my pants
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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