May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
