Dual....:-)
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
