did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
