i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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